mentor of the month
Every month, Discovering Options recognizes an exceptional mentor.
For November 2008, Robert Howell has been selected for his sincere dedication and time to the Discovering Options mission.
Dear Potential Mentors,
I have been mentoring D’Marco since November 2007. I have a wife to whom I have been married for 24 years. We have four children, all internationally adopted, one of whom was a daughter with very special needs. Her need for special education transformed my career from computer programmer to special education teacher eight years ago after she passed away at the age of five by showing me through divine intervention that I was meant to teach kids with severe disabilities in North County.
D’Marco lives in the Grace Hill area of North St. Louis City with his family having his grandmother living nearby. He does very well academically in school and likes to play basketball and soccer at school and video games at home. He and I attend most of the functions that Discovering Options sponsors especially enjoying the Sherwood Camp, bowling, and City Museum. Our favorite restaurants are Cici’s Pizza and Subway. Our typical outing could be to use computers at the library to surf the Internet or go to the Science Center. Being a special education teacher, he knows that I encourage the importance of doing well in school and not getting suspended for bad behavior. He
has met my wife and kids and has accompanied my family on some outings.
Despite my older adult age and being Caucasian, I might be wearing a Tupac shirt or Jordans, for example, on any school day to relate to my school’s predominantly black population. In addition, at our first meeting, D’Marco found out that I like rap and hip hop music, so he can always find a Lil Wayne, Tupac, or T.I. CD in my car to play while we are in the car.
My typical schedule includes teaching and lesson plans, coaching cross country in the fall and little league wrestling in the winter, running with high school athletes that want to run extra miles, being a running coach and mentor to some athletes in North County in the spring and summer, and mentoring two teenagers whom I have known for nine years.
My very understanding wife knows my desire to work out and run and knows that, if I am not at home, I am either with D’Marco, running, or going to a sports practice or game. I am very familiar with St. Louis City and had no problem navigating to D’Marco’s neighborhood the first time to meet him. I run at parks such as O’Fallon Park (which has a very tough PHL cross country course) or Forest Park. I can also be found playing tennis at Tandy Park near Sumner High School with a member of the tennis team.
As for exceeding the twenty week minimum of a mentor, I could not imagine telling D’Marco that I wanted to end the relationship simply because the “time was up”. He puts up with my busy schedule also.
Before I became a father to my two teenage boys and daughter (in the second grade), I was a Big Brother to a boy for eight years, and we still maintain contact even though he moved to Colorado with his mother and siblings in 1995. He attributes his successful career to the motivation I provided for him in his pre-teen/teenage years. I look for D’Marco to similarly appreciate my efforts someday in the future.
Mentoring is something that a potential mentor must want to do from inside their self – the motivation is the reward of seeing someone in an at-risk neighborhood develop into a successful adult even by enduring the teenage years being made more difficult by where they live or attend school. I can appreciate the fact that there are many good kids who live in the city in bad neighborhoods, and I am glad that those kids know that I know that they deserve respect and can be successful now and forever because of the time I spend with them.
Thanks for listening,
Robert Howell
Previous Mentors of the Month:
Amy and Eric Barnett/ October 2008
Marriage partners Amy and Eric Barnett have been mentoring Deon and William since the summer of 2007. Why did they choose to mentor? “We had been looking into different volunteer opportunities, including Big Brother Big Sister. Then somehow we got connected up with Discovering Options. We are so grateful that we did. Mentoring has impacted Eric and me tremendously. We miss the boys when we don’t see them for a week or so. They really are a part of our family. Their pictures are on our wall. I can see us going to their high school and college graduations.”
The boys are best friends and so the two of them coupled with the Barnetts make quite a happy foursome. They’ve enjoyed going to Cardinals and Blues games, visiting the museums and zoos, going out to lunch together, and a myriad of other things. Both boys say they are grateful for the assistance their mentors have given them in understanding their homework. They also confide that they feel special and loved when they are with Amy and Eric.
The life of one of the boys is filled with ongoing challenges and stressors. The mentor/protégé relationship has helped keep some balance in his life. Since his best friend is present during most of the outings, he is able to keep that special relationship alive. He has a critical safety net in place when his childhood is threatened. Amy once contacted Discovering Options to ask that a social worker assess the situation when there appeared to be inadequate food at his home. She was aware that the situation could cause embarrassment for the adults in the family and asked that the social worker be especially sensitive to the issue. Her respect for family boundaries and privacy enabled the social worker to obtain the information needed and provide referrals in a way that resolved the problem without causing awkward feelings.
Eric and Amy’s employer, I.T.T. Tech, sponsored a canned food drive before the holiday season last year. They arranged with their employer to donate a large amount of the collected food to D. O. Then they arranged to have the food delivered to Family PREP at Mark Twain Elementary School, enabling D.O. staff to attend to other needs during the hyper busy season. Their donation supplemented the meals of 60 families.
One of the many notable facts about the Barnetts is their location: they live in Arnold, MO. The 25 mile drive just to get to the boys’ homes doesn’t phase them. They are glad to do it.
Two young boys and Discovering Options are glad too!
